Church: A No Bully Zone!

                  Thom Rainer, has served as a pastor and is currently president and research director for LifeWay Publishing.  He wrote a great article more recently that we can all learn from:  Nine Traits of Church Bullies.

Church bullies are common in many churches. They wreak havoc and create dissension. They typically must have an “enemy” in the church, because they aren’t happy unless they are fighting a battle. They tend to maneuver to get an official leadership position in the church, such as chairman of the elders or deacons or treasurer. But they may have bully power without any official position.  Church bullies have always been around. But they seem to be doing their work more furiously today than in recent history. Perhaps this look at nine traits of church bullies can help us recognize them before they do too much damage.

1.     They do not recognize themselves as bullies. To the contrary, they see themselves as necessary heroes sent to save the church from her own self.

2.     They have personal and self-serving agendas. They have determined what “their” church should look like. Any person or ministry or program that is contrary to their perceived ideal church must be eliminated.

3.     They seek to form power alliances with weak members in the church. They will pester and convince groups, committees, and persons to be their allies in their cause. Weaker church staff members and church members will succumb to their forceful personalities.

4.     They tend to have intense and emotional personalities. These bullies use the intensity of their personalities to get their way.

5.     They are famous for saying “people are saying.” They love to gather tidbits of information and shape it to their own agendas. See my previous post on this one item.

6.     They find their greatest opportunities in low expectation churches. Many of the church members have an entitlement view of church membership. They seek to get their own needs and preferences fulfilled. They, therefore, won’t trouble themselves to confront and deal with church bullies. That leads to the next issue, which is a consequence of this point

7.     They are allowed to bully because church members will not stand up to them. I have spoken with pastors and church staff who have been attacked by church bullies. While the bully brings them great pain, they have even greater hurt because most of the church members stood silent and let it happen.

8.     They create chaos and wreak havoc. A church bully always has his next mission. While he or she may take a brief break from one bullying mission to the next, they are not content unless they are exerting the full force of their manipulative behavior.

9.     They often move to other churches after they have done their damage. Whether they are forced out or simply get bored, they will move to other churches with the same bullying mission. Some bullies have wreaked havoc in three or more churches.

Church bullying is epidemic in many of our congregations. They must be stopped. In my article on Wednesday, I deal with the topic of preventing church bullying. In the meantime, let me hear from you.

An Intense Moment at Golgotha

Luke 23:32-39 says, “Two other men, both criminals, were also led out with him to be executed. When they came to the place called the Skull, there they crucified him, along with the criminals—one on his right, the other on his left. Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.’  And they divided up his clothes by casting lots. The people stood watching, and the rulers even sneered at him. They said, ‘He saved others; let him save himself if he is the Christ of God, the Chosen One.’ The soldiers also came up and mocked him. They offered him wine vinegar and said, ‘If you are the king of the Jews, save yourself.’ There was a written notice above him, which read: this is the king of the jews. One of the criminals who hung there hurled insults at him: ‘Aren’t you the Christ? Save yourself and us!’”

This was a very tense moment in the life of Jesus and Satan knew the time was opportune.  Satan had watched from the corners of the upper room and waited in the shadows of Gethsemane.  He witnessed the betrayals, the trials, the mockings, and the beatings.  He knew the soul of Christ had never been more ripe or more within in his reach.  Satan comes one more time and causes the ones that Christ came to save to question His ability and His authority.  As Jesus hung on the cross in agony He understood His mission and purpose, which was to glorify the Father and to become the Lamb of God, which takes away the sins of the world.  

Christ was beaten and abused as He carried our cross to Golgotha.  As he stretched out His body across the crossbeams others continued shouting cruel words and sneered at Him.  Watching the soldiers drive those long spikes in His hands and feet and dropping the cross into that deep hole in the ground, Christ says, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do”.  Of all the cruel words these soldier’s calloused ears must have heard they have never heard anything like this before (forgiveness for them).  Not only does Jesus ask His Father to forgive them, He offers a kind word in their behalf, explaining their behavior.

      Satan uses many onlookers as his mouthpiece to question Christ’s love and authority.  The religious leaders, feeling victory, shout out, “He saved others; let him save himself if he is the Christ of God, the Chosen one.”  Not a whisper was said that Christ did not hear.  Even the soldiers challenged Christ as they made their rounds, “If you are the king of the Jews, save yourself.”  Since Satan could not appeal to Christ through the religious leaders or the Roman soldiers, he tries to work on Christ through the robbers.  They asked, “Aren’t you the Christ?  Save yourself and us!”

Jesus does not save Himself and He doesn’t even save His dignity. Christ offered no defense to His accusers and He made no reply.  The cold reality is that despite how much pain He was in and in spite of how tired and weak He was, He chose to save us and not Himself.  “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!  And that is what we are!” (1 John 3:1)

Believing God for Great Things

In his new book, Nobodies For Jesus, Dr. Chuck Lawless shares how God longs to provide our greatest needs, while we are focused on pursuing greatness for ourselves.

"A distraught father whose son was possessed by a demon brought his boy to Jesus’ disciples (Mark 9:14-29). Under the demon’s influence, the son often threw himself into fire or water to destroy himself. From his childhood he had been in this condition, and nothing was changing. We have to believe the father had sought for years to find any solution to his boy’s tragic condition. Any caring father would have done the same.

The father must have heard that Jesus (and apparently his disciples) had power to heal. In desperation, he brought his son to Jesus’ disciples – and the tragic words of a defeated father speaking to Jesus echo loudly from the pages of the Scripture: “So I asked Your disciples to drive it out, but they couldn’t.”

“But they couldn’t.” It is hard to find more tragic words about God’s followers when hurting people turn to them for help. God’s power was available to the disciples, but they somehow missed it. They had previously dealt successfully with demons (Mark 6:12-13), but not this time. In fact, his disciples were both faithless (v. 19) and prayerless (v. 29) even as they confronted the spirit that controlled the man’s son. We can only hope that Jesus’ words – “You unbelieving generation! How long will I be with you? How long must I put up with you?” — pierced them, but the evidence suggests otherwise.

Sometime later, Jesus retreated with his disciples and taught them about his coming betrayal, death, and resurrection (Mark 9:30-32). Perhaps not surprisingly, the disciples did not fully understand what he was teaching. He had previously predicted his death and resurrection (Mark 8:31-33), and Peter had aggressively rebuked him for such teaching. Their leader didn’t “get it” before, and now the whole group still didn’t fully get it.

Here’s what is amazing, though. In the very next passage, these same disciples were debating over who was the greatest: “When He was in the house, He asked them, ‘What were you arguing about on the way?’ But they were silent, because on the way they had been arguing with one another about who was the greatest.” (Mark 9:33-34)

Say what? The disciples likely were clinging to a hope that Jesus would be a political king offering them a cabinet seat, but their misunderstanding only magnifies their arrogance. Cast out a demon? They couldn’t do it. Comprehend Jesus’ teaching about his death? They failed. Understand the nature of Jesus’ kingdom? Not yet. Willingly follow Christ’s model of service? Not even close.

And these men were arguing over who is the greatest in a kingdom they didn’t even understand? Yep.

Let’s not kid ourselves, though. We are not always that much different. Sometimes we love our positions of power in the church even when we know we lack the power of God in our own lives. We strive for teaching positions without recognizing our own unwillingness to learn. Lesson after repeated lesson, we still don’t get it. Our pride keeps us from admitting our lack of understanding even while our powerlessness keeps us from being effective. In all of our supposed greatness, God help us if we come face-to-face with a boy possessed by a demon."

PLEASE plan on attending the special Spiritual Warfare Conference with Dr. Chuck Lawless at Maywood on April 11 & 12.  The focus will be on Becoming a Church that Threatens the Enemy.  Please visit our church's website for details--on the front page.

Humility Led Christ to the Cross

It is easy to talk about the significant need for humility as it is taught in Scripture, and yet it is an entirely different matter to practice it.  Each day I am challenged to remember that I serve best when I practice the humility that Christ practiced, which always placed the concern, interests, and needs of others before my own.  He taught this so well in Philippians 2:1-8 when it says that He became a servant and humbled Himself even to the point of death on the cross.  Believers are challenged not to have a "me mentality" but an "others mentality" and that takes a great deal of prayer and work because it does not come very naturally for us.  I can be too interested in my own ideas, desires, schedule, and needs that I don't want to see the needs of others.  Others can truly become an inconvenience, which is so contrary to what Christ taught through His life.  Most of us truly believe we deserve so much more or that we should be treated so much better.  I'm thankful that my Savior and Redeemer did not take the attitude towards me.

Solomon says in Proverbs 13:10 that "Only by prides comes contention".  Whenever there are difficulties and contention amongst people, it is not necessary to look very far because the root problem is pride.  It was pride that cast Satan from the Garden of Eden.  It was pride that caused Adam and Eve to think they could have so much more.  It was pride that caused Cain to murder his brother Abel.  It is pride that caused the disciples to be concerned about greatness in Christ's kingdom.  Pride is just the opposite of humility and yet it exists in our lives and churches much more often than humility. 

If humility is what Christ prizes and Scripture commands, then the question must be asked:  Do we pray for humility or for God to help humble us so that He might be glorified through our lives?  Too often we desire to have our feet washed by others when we really need to be the foot washer--at least Jesus thought so.  Pray for God to grant us the humility that would lead us into sacrifice, concern, and love for others.

No Room for Pious Christians

               Feeling like you don’t measure up is an awful feeling.  At times one can wonder if they should just give up trying to measure up altogether. The desire for approval, acceptance, and to be loved comes natural and yet can be very frustrating if not experienced.  Once that feeling of being accepted and loved is experienced, it creates a special warmth inside of us all.  The danger is that we can then become an exclusive group of people, rejecting others until they reach the same standards that we have “attained” in order to accept them. 

                  Most people feel that their perspective on life, religious beliefs, and personal preferences is the only one that matters, although it may never be said.  Many people would consider themselves perfectly balanced and represent the center point around which everyone and everything else should be measured.  However, if I understand Scripture correctly, the only center point that matters is Jesus Christ and His righteousness for each of us, and we all fall far short of that standard (Rom. 3:23).

                  The apostle Paul wants believers to understand that the mystery of the Gospel is that Christ loves all men and women equally.  There is no preference or preferred standing when it comes to His love for our souls (Gal. 3:27-28).  No sinner comes more stained with sin than another or is harder to save.  Every sinner who comes to know Christ and puts his or her belief in Him alone is dressed in Christ’s righteousness.  There is no advanced standing for Jews over Gentiles.  God gives equal peace and righteousness to all men through Christ.  This is the mystery of the Gospel that believers are equal, and that they are united as one person through the work of Jesus Christ on the cross.  The payment required was His blood.

                  The problem is that believers can and do at times represent a religious elitism that hinders and misrepresents the Gospel message.  This type of spirit actually preaches another Gospel (a false gospel) that is not Biblical.  God reached equal distance to save us as He does the worst of sinners, for which the apostle Paul called himself (Eph. 3:8).  Some Christians are ashamed of the Gospel and never share it with others, but are grateful that they have been blessed with it.  Paul said that he would not be ashamed of the Gospel because it was the necessary message (the power of God unto salvation) that sinners needed to hear for the sake of the salvation of their souls (Rom. 1:16). 

                  There is no room for pious Christianity in the church or outside of the church.  Rather, a life and spirit of humility that drives believers to want to share the transformational Gospel should be our focus each day.  Imagine what could happen if we as Christians welcomed people the way Christ welcomed and valued others.  There is no room for an exclusive, proud, or pious spirit in the Body of Christ.

Strangers from God

I just returned from Israel this week and if there is one thing that has been reinforced on the trip it has been the work of Christ's love for His people.  Love drove Christ to seek and save the lost.  It was love that drove Christ to act and serve in very unconventional ways towards others who despised Him.  It was through love that Christ set aside His glory in exchange for suffering.  It was through love that Christ humbled Himself as a servant in order that we could truly experience God.   The Apostle Paul says, "...remember that you were at that time separated from Christ, alienated from the commonwealth of Israel and strangers to the covenants of promise, having no hope and without God in the world.  But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ" (Eph. 2:12-13).

Many people are intrigued and want to know more about Jesus Christ and yet not everyone comes to know Him as Savior and Lord.  It is easy to lose sight of Christ and fail to remember why He came and the problem He solved while absorbing the landscape and adventures of Israel (where Christ walked, performed miracles, lived and died ).  Most Jews do not accept Jesus Christ as the Messiah and are still awaiting the true Messiah to come and to bring salvation.  Most Jews are just as lost as the world around us and have a need for Jesus Christ.  All men are strangers from God and are brought near to Him in a relationship when they accept the gift of Christ and His forgiveness.  Jesus Christ is the only one who can span the chasm between us and God.  He draws us near to God and it demanded the blood of Jesus Christ on a cruel Roman cross.

Needless to say, Christ was nowhere to be found in Israel because He is risen and is presently seated at the right hand of God.  It is where we would expect Him to be!  Christ has gained the victory over death and sin and we can now enjoy a relationship with the God of the universe each moment of every day as a result of Christ's sacrifice.  It was indeed amazing to walk down many of the same roads that Christ traveled and to stand in synagogues where Christ would have once taught.  However, the greatest act of love was when Christ laid down on the cross and allowed the soldiers to drive the nails into His hands and feet in order to draw us near to God.  It was amazing to think that Jesus Christ (God in the flesh) walked this earth and lived with a purpose to redeem mankind.  The trip was valuable as it provided an incredible backdrop for interpreting Scripture.  The time in Israel helped me to understand the broader picture of Christ's mission and the impact that He had in such a short time of ministry on this earth.  The world is still talking about His love and faithfulness to the Father and His people.  I hope to revisit the Holy Land of Israel and to take many of you back with me to appreciate the depths of Christ's love and ministry.

We Are Trophies of God's Grace

The Apostle Paul considered himself to be the chief of all sinners (1 Timothy 1:15) and yet God chose to glorify Himself through Paul.  We are also told in 1 Corinthians 1:27 that, "God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong."  God works through the imperfection of individuals to glorify His holy name and to make His name great amongst the nations.  He is not concerned about our previous status because He dresses every believer in the righteousness of Jesus Christ when they come to Him as Savior (Romans 13:14).  Regardless of our stained, sketchy, and shameful past God wants to shine through us as a testimony of transformation that He brings as it tells of His greatness.  It is best that we always understand that it is God's power that enables us to accomplish things for Him.

The apostle Paul reminds us in 2 Corinthians 12:9-11, "But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."  There is no need to be ashamed of our past as Christ has given forgiveness!  He loves to heal and bring order to chaos.  He loves to work through our inadequacies! 

There is no doubt about it that we as believers were once children of disobedience, lovers of darkness, dead in our trespasses and sins, and following the prince of the power of the air--Satan!  Our lives were not only messed up, but hopeless without Christ.  I LOVE how Paul states it, "But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus."

God desires to express His grace and kindness through our lives in order that the world may marvel at His goodness!  I marvel at the grace and kindness that He has displayed through me!  May we never get bogged down in our self-worth and fail to understand that God is working His kindness through us that He might be glorified--It happens because of what Christ did for us on Calvary.